Daniel Ho’s Musings

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are asked to to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25+ people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

Here goes:

1. I have 2 cats. An orange tabby that we’ve had since uni and a mackerel tabby that followed us home one day about 6 years ago. As a result, I’m usually covered in cat hair. Lint rollers are a must at home and at the office.

2. While we have 2 nice TVs, my wife cancelled our cable subscription over a decade ago and as a result I watch almost no TV. It has been so long that TV watching is no longer a habit. Even while traveling now, I never turn the TV on in the hotel room. I do watch the occasional movie and TV series from DVD though.

3. Oh, don’t tell anybody, but I have a soft spot for a good romantic comedies.

4. I think I have a mild form of OCD. As a result, when I get interested in something, I’ll drill down and geek out to a point where most people will think it is unnatural to know that much detail.

5. Besides a quick glance at the papers at a newsstand or Google News, I don’t read any new source during the week. On the weekend, I’ll buy a weekend paper (usually FT Weekend) more for the fun sections to read when I’m having a coffee than anything else. Everything else I pick up by osmosis in my everyday transactions with people. There is really very little trade-off. I really haven’t missed much over the years but have benefitted from not being mentally burdened by mostly inconsequential bad news/non-news.

6. I frequent a local cafe so often that when I sit down, the servers will bring me my “usual”. I like it, but am thinking that I should mix it up a bit!

7. For a geek, there’s something anachronistic about me that I haven’t quite figured out yet. While I usually am carrying au courant geek toys, I also am a big fan of fountain pens, mechanical wristwatches, well made leather goods, etc. Maybe I’m just not limiting myself to contemporary geekiness.

8. I’m a card-carrying (Metropass?) city boy. While I love long canoe trips and generally being outdoors, I really need to be around the people, stuff and hustle that make up a vibrant neighbourhood and city.

9. I’ve loved photography since I was about 5 years old. There is even a picture of me with my first camera…a Hong Kong made Diana.

10. It irritates me when people complain about the snow and cold of winter…especially when it is February and they live in Canada. It is snowing out? Really? I’m shocked!

11. I love to travel but don’t get a chance to do it nearly often enough. Over the years, I’ve traveled by only staying at 5 star hotels and have backpacked using shared bathroom facilities etc. Given the choice, I much prefer being less insulated from the places I’m visiting. A happy medium for me is renting a flat and living like a native.

12. I’ve has a mobile phone since 1985. While I like the convenience of having one, I don’t like the intrusion. Friends think it is odd that I will selectively answer calls to my phone. I have to remind them that the phone is for MY convenience and not so that people can disrespect my time. Seriously, if you need something, send me an email. It’s faster…

13. I spend a lot of time thinking about cooking, eating and drinking. Most of the magic happens in our city galley kitchen or on the patio over gas or charcoal using devices you may not have associated with cooking.

14. My kitchen knives are mostly handmade from Japan and are sharp…really sharp.

15. For the most part, I hate raw vegetables and especially raw crispy lettuce.

16. The most attractive thing about a human being is the ability to laugh and laugh at oneself.

17. I love working in my office but dread the thought of getting there. Really, it isn’t a big deal but I have a psychological barrier in getting there especially in the winter. This is even when I just hop in the car and arrive 15 minutes later.

18. Cars are a past love for me. I think they are cool mechanical objects, and some have to be seen as beautiful rolling art, but I just don’t enjoy driving anymore. The last fun drive I had was in a ZipCar BMW 3-Series along the twisty roads from San Francisco to Napa and back.

19. My palate has developed to like strong tastes. So, Single Islay Malt Scotch Whisky, cognac, highly spiced gins, spicy foods are my thang.

20. I am trying to eat a lot less carbs like white rice, pasta, bread, etc. but am finding it difficult. Not sure if this is cultural or the fact that my body is addicted to the sugar rush. Likely both.

21. I’m definitely the black sheep of the family. All my cousins have normal respectable jobs. Even after looking at my various websites and asking directly, my mom STILL has no idea what I do. I think she’d much rather that I became a doctor or an EVP at IBM or something.

22. I’m usually a huge supporter of the underdog. You’ll hear me ranting about injustices that I see. I’m not always effective or successful, but I try in my small way to make the world a better place. So, yes, I have existential issues about my role in our world and whether I’m doing enough.

23. I admit to being not certain about most things in life, but I believe that our job is to take care of ourselves, each other, and the world in which we live. We need to see the world as a beautiful place that we can take care of and make better. I could be wrong, but with the imperfect information that we have…what are the alternatives?

24. To me, the benefit of frequent flyer status and airport lounges is to keep away from ill prepared, nervous flyers. That said, on about 30 percent of my flights I end up holding the hand of the person I’m sitting next to on takeoff and landing.

25. People will ask me for directions even though it is pretty obvious that I’m not a native. This happens daily regardless of whether I’m home or away traveling.

Whew…this took a bit longer than I expected.

I was surfing and found a post on ZenHabits that pretty much sums up my view of happiness and how to achieve it. Here are the action items:

1. Be present. Don’t think about how great things will be in the future. Don’t dwell on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the here and now, and experience life as it’s happening, and appreciate the world for the beauty that it is, right now. Practice makes perfect with this crucial skill.
2. Connect with others. In my experience, very few things can achieve happiness as well as connecting with other human beings, cultivating relationships, bonding with others. Some tips on doing this.
3. Spend time with those you love. This might seem almost the same as the item above, and in reality it’s an extension of the same concept, a more specific application. Spending time with the people you love is extremely important to happiness … and yet it’s incredible how often we do just the opposite, and spend time alone, or disconnected from those we love, or spend time with people we don’t much like. Make it a priority to schedule time with the people you love. Make that your most important item of the day. For myself, I have a time when I cut off work, and the rest of the day is for my family. Weekends are exclusively for my family. And by setting aside this sacred time, I ensure my happiness by letting nothing come between me and the people I love most.
4. Do the things you love. What do you love doing most? Figure out the 4-5 things you love doing most in life, the things that make you happiest, and make those the foundation of your day, every day. Eliminate as much of the rest as possible. For me, the things I love doing are: spending time with my family, writing, reading, and running. I do those things every day, and very little else. It may take awhile to get your life down to your essentials like I have (it took me a few years of careful elimination and rescheduling and saying “no” to requests that aren’t on my short list), but it’s worth the effort.
5. Focus on the good things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects — whether you’re happy or not depends largely on which aspects you focus on. Did you lose today’s softball game? At least you got to spend time with friends doing something fun. Did you sprain your ankle running? Well, your body probably needed a week’s rest anyway, as you were running too much! Did your baby get sick? Well, at least it’s only a flu virus and nothing life-threatening … and at least you have a wonderful baby to nurse to health! You can see my point — almost everything has a positive side, and focusing on the positives make all the difference. My Auntie Kerry died last week (as you know), and I’m still grieving, but 1) I’m happy I spent time with her before her death; 2) her death has brought our family closer together; 3) her suffering has ended; and 4) it reminded me to spend more time with the people I love while they’re still alive.
6. Do work you love. An extension, of course, of doing the things you love, but applied to work. Are you already doing the work you love? Then you’re one of the lucky ones, and you should appreciate how lucky you are. If you aren’t doing the work you love, you should make it a priority to try to find work you’re passionate about, and to steer your career in that direction. Take myself for example: I was doing work that I was good at (just last year), but that I wasn’t passionate about. I was passionate about writing, and so I pursued blogging … and with a year of hard work, was able to quit my day job and blog full time. I’m so much happier these days!
7. Lose yourself in your work. Once you’ve found work you love, the key is to lose yourself in it … clear away all distractions, find an interesting and challenging task, and just pour all your energy and focus into that task. With practice, you’ll forget about the outside world. There are few work-related joys that equal this feeling. Read more.
8. Help others. Is there any better feeling than helping a fellow human being? There aren’t many. And it’s not too hard — here are 25 ways.
9. Find time for peace. With the hectic pace of life these days, it’s hard to find a moment of peace. But if you can make time for solitude and quiet, it can be one of the happiest parts of your day. Here’s how.
10. Notice the small things. Instead of waiting for the big things to happen — marriage, kids, house, nice car, big promotion, winning the lottery — find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning hours, or the delicious and simple taste of berries, or the pleasure of reading a book with your child, or taking a walk with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures, throughout your day, makes a huge difference.
11. Develop compassion. Compassion is developing a sense of shared suffering with others … and taking steps to alleviate the suffering of others. I think too often we forget about the suffering of others while focusing on our own suffering, and if we learned to share the suffering of others, our suffering would seem insignificant as a result. Compassion is an extremely valuable skill to learn, and you get better with practice. Here’s how.
12. Be grateful. Learning to be grateful for what’s in our lives, for the people who have enriched our lives, goes a long way toward happiness. It helps us to appreciate what we have and what we have received, and the people who have helped us. Read more.
13. Become a lifelong learner. I find an inordinate amount of pleasure in reading, in learning about new things, in enriching my knowledge as I get older. I think spending time reading some of the classics, as well as passionately pursuing new interests, is energy well invested. Try to do a little of it every day, and see if it doesn’t make you happier.
14. Simplify your life. This is really about identifying the things you love (see above) and then eliminating everything else as much as possible. By simplifying your life in this way, you create time for your happiness, and you reduce the stress and chaos in your life. In my experience, living a very simple life is also a pleasure in itself.
15. Slow down. Similar to simplifying, slowing down is just a matter of reminding yourself that there’s no need to rush through life. Schedule less things on your calendar, and more space between things. Learn to eat slower, drive slower, walk slower (unless you’re doing it for exercise). Going slowly helps to reduce stress, and improve the pleasure of doing things, and keeps you in the present moment.
16. Exercise. I’ve written about the pleasures of exercise many times. It can be hard to start an exercise program (here’s how) but once you get going, it relieves stress and can really give you a good feeling. I feel joyful every time I go out for a run!
17. Meditate. You don’t need to join a Zendo or get a mat or learn any lotus positions, but the simplest form of meditation can really help you to be present and to get out of the worrying part of your head. You can do it right now: close your eyes and simply try to focus on your breathing as long as possible. Pay attention to the breath as it comes into your body, and then as it goes out. When you feel your mind start to wander, don’t fret, but just simply acknowledge the other thoughts, and then return to your breathing. Do this a little each day and you’ll get better at it.
18. Learn to accept. One of the challenges for people like me — people who want to improve themselves and change the world — is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to learn to accept, and to love, the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to try to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. I’m not saying you should accept cruelty and injustice, but learn to love things when they are less than “perfect”.
19. Spend time in nature. Go outside and take a walk each day, or take the time to watch a sunset or sunrise. Or find a body of water — the ocean, a lake, a river, a pond — and spend time taking a look at it, contemplating it. If you’re lucky enough to live near some woods, or a mountain, or a canyon, go hiking. Time in nature is time invested in your happiness.
20. Find the miracles in life. I absolutely believe in miracles, and believe that they are all around us, every day. My children are all miracles. The kindnesses of strangers are miracles. The life growing all around us is a miracle. Find those miracles in your life, and enjoy the majesty of them.

I was looking at Joi’s post about how he was a lefty in Japan and was forced to use his right hand. My story was pretty similar. I was left handed but am of an age where this was frowned upon when I was first schooled in Hong Kong. I was “taught strenuously” to be right handed. Now, I function perfectly well using my right hand but I JUST realized that I actually throw better with my left hand. Hmmm…coulda been a basketball star!

My father-in-law was a lefty as well…

Now my 3.5 year old son is showing signs of left-handedness. Besides having to learn to use my Japanese knives (traditionally right beveled–maybe easier to just buy custom left beveled ones) and stuff like scissors, smudging using fountain pens etc…I don’t really see any real issue being a lefty.

What was the big deal? What am I missing here?